Well, here we are. Christmas Eve. A time when my family (on my dad's side) gets together, plays Bingo, exchanges gifts for the kids and generally has a great time. But sadly, all of that isn't happening this year. Since mom is on her first week of chemo, she wants to stay home and not be around kiddos with germs :( And Colin has quite the runny nose, so I am trying not to blame her.
I feel like I have been psyching myself out, thinking that this is our last Christmas together. So the thought of her not being with us tonight kinda bums me out. Supposedly she and dad are going to come over tomorrow morning.....I hope so.
It's been a rough week emotionally. With the chemo, being called a bitch by my sister, crying my eyes out and trying to get ready for Christmas, I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep! Things are fine with my sister....I know that is how she is. All of us are under stress. It was just kind of a blow to get yelled at and then hung up on. If it's this bad after her first chemo, where are we going to be 3 months from now???
But, I digress. I am excited for Sadie and Colin's Christmas tomorrow. I am looking forward to a ski weekend over New Years. I'm just worried that every smile is tinged with fear. I'm afraid I'll get drunk and be a crying mess.....it's certainly happened before. Drinking is nice because you get a minute of relief, but then inevitablly, a brother in law will ask about my mom. And then I'll break down. Maybe I can keep it together?? Pretty please?
So that's it for now. Mom's next chemo is on the 27th. So far, she's constipated, but I haven't heard of any hair loss yet. To be continued....