Thursday, October 3, 2013

One month

Today marks one month since mom passed. One month ago at this very time, she was receiving last rites from Father Mark. Over and over in my head I have wanted to blog about every last detail of September 3rd, but I haven't. I'm afraid that I will forget something, but really, how can you forget your mom's last breath?

Since mom passed, I gave birth to a beautiful little flower named Elise Kimberly. 13 days after ma passed. The next day, I was on Zoloft. I've blogged about this before, it makes me feel like a robot. I don't feel as though I've been mourning mom since I am drugged out now. And have a newborn. It's all just too too much, right?

I'm afraid that mom is going to come to me in a dream, but that I won't remember it in the haze of nursing at 4 in the morning. I don't think that's possible though...I think it took my dad just a bit to come and visit me. I am hoping to see mom soon.

So, the day my mom died will be told soon. I guess I'm just not ready to put the words to paper yet. I remember everything. It's so hard to believe that I haven't talked to my mom in one month. Mind blowing. I miss you. Terribly.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Jessica, I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I was checking a few of your posts and had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance -emilywalsh688 (at) Thanks.