Thursday, May 2, 2013

About done with this shit.

Below is a note I just wrote to my sisters. I am reaching a point where mom is making it nearly impossible to care for her and to be a part of her healing. Cancer is slowly taking over my family and unfortunately, my mom is letting it.

I've had it with mom. I just called her and asked her what time her appointment was for tomorrow and she said 8:10, but that it was just for a shot and that she wouldn't be seeing her doctor. I then asked her if she had the results of the bone scan and she told me, well, I assume that the doctor will give them to me tomorrow. So I just told me you didn't have a doctor appointment. To which she tells me that she would prefer to go to all of her appointments alone now.

Of course, I threw a titch of a fit and told her that it wasn't fair to us that she keeps cutting everyone out. I told her that I am tired of her telling one sister something and then telling that sister to keep it to herself. She cried, and you know what, I didn't care. It's high time that she stops pulling this stuff.

It's like she can't see that we love her and need to be a part of this. I've done nothing but go to appointment after appointment, switch her doctors for her, take copious notes....I'm about done. I've done it because she is my mom. I've never expected a thank you and I know I probably will never get one, and I am fine with that. But I am not fine with the three of us being cut out of her healthcare experience. She got off the phone in a huff because dad was calling. I am not going to feel guilted by her. I am just so frustrated.

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