Into the pink.....October blows.

Another October is here. Another October it seems as though we are finding out a lot about mom's cancer. Why is it always that shit hits the fan in the beginning of October?

Here goes the rundown of the last two hellacious days:

Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Mom had a meeting with her oncologist from University Hospitals, Dr. Bergman. This is the onc. that has been in charge of mom since August 2010. When mom pulled up next to me and looked into my car, she looked pissed. I immediatly knew that this was not going to be fun. As we were walking into the appt, something was off. Once we got into the doctor's office I found out what was wrong.

As mom undressed, I found that she has three lesions on her chest. The lesions are bigger than a quarter and you can clearly SEE the lumps and bumps underneath. Upon furhter investigation with my sisters, no one knew about these growths....not even my dad. When Dr. Bergman took one look at the lesions, he said without a doubt that it was cancer. He then said "We are losing this battle." Word for word that is what he said.

After this he told mom that she would need another PET scan and that she had no choice but to go through another round of chemo. He explained that the cancer was winning and he wasn't sure if we could catch up. He essentially gave her a death sentence.

He decided to immediatly stop her hormone treatment since it wasn't working, but she did get the shot of bone strenghtener. A PET scan was scheduled for Friday. When we left, mom told me that there was nothing to worry about. That the chemo was going to knock it back.

It was an awful day.

Thursday, October 4, 2012
On the way into work I called mom to see how she was doing. She told me that she was thinking of getting a second opinion with Dr. Greenfield from the Cleveland Clinic. Halleilujah!!!! I knew what I had to do.

As soon as I got to work, I looked up Dr. G and called. I spoke to Catherine who proved to be an angel. The angel that we have been looking for for 2 years. They got mom in at 2:00 THAT DAY!

After a mess with getting the records transfered over, which ended with Dr. G. chewing out some ass at UH, my mom, Katie and I were sitting at the Cleveland Clinic in Willoughby HIlls.

Dr. G came in and asked mom to start at the beginning. He then did a super thourough exam which included him agreeing with Dr. Bergman that the lesions on her chest were indeed cancer. In his words it was "without a doubt." He also found a small lump in her right (only) breast.

He did a neuro exam which still has me freaked out. Mom is not very good with her left hand responses. I've been doing the hand motions all day.....it was really hard to see your mom struggle at something easy.With all that she has been through, seeing her not being able to use her hands and fingers as she wished shook me.

He agreed with all of the treatments that Bergman gave mom, but he offered some different treatments from this point forward. He offered two chemo PILLS that mom can take that might not make her hair fall out. He offered a clinical trial that can OVERCOME her hormone aversion. He said that if all else fails we can do IV chemo. We were astounded with a feeling of HOPE.

His directions were to get the PET scan on Friday, he would have results at 10 am and mom was to call him at noon to find out where we were going with this. We left knowing that this doctor was going to take mom and try his damndest to make her better.

Friday, October 5, 2012
Today was the day. Results came back that there is no organ involvement, but that the cancer is in two new places: the right breast and the hilum of the left lung. Not IN the lung, but kind of above it. The cancer that has been in her has spread intensly and has gotten very large. This, of course, concerns me. Mom will be starting the chemo pill next week after meeting again with Dr. G. 7 days on, 7 days off for 6 weeks. Then re-evaluate.

God please help my mom. Grandma Perkins please help my mom. Uncle Hank please help my mom. I can't lose her. My sisters can't lose her. My dad can't lose her. Our children can't lose her. Keep her around to annoy the shit out of me. I love my mom. I love my mom. I love my mom. I love my mom. Please god help my mom.