Wednesday, January 9, 2013

imPORTant day

That's what today is....imPORTant. Mom got her port installed this morning after a lot of anxiety. The port will enable her to receive the chemo easier that trying to find a vein that has been destroyed by chemo.

So I get to the hospital at 8 this morning (mom had to be there at 7:30). My sister and dad were there with mom and my nice sister bought me an iced coffee. Good start.

Mom was supposed to go back at 9:30 to have the procedure, but they didn't take her back until 10:20. It was very frustrating because mom and dad were mentally prepared for 9:30 and as the minutes kept ticking past they kept getting more and more anxious and upset. Kasey and I did our best to try to calm them down. When I was sitting with mom at one point, she said that her feet were cold. So I rubbed my hands together, created super heat, and placed them on her feet. I could feel the cold. Her poor little toes. She said that my hands helped and it felt calming to be connected to her through her feet. Weird, but true :)

When they came to get her I was in the room with her and got to give her a kiss and tell her I loved her. She was done by the time I got to work. Sister said that everything went very smoothly and mom should go home soon. This is a BIG bridge that we just crossed.

I also wanted to note that mom started to lose her hair last night. As I was sitting by her bed today, I stroked her hair and said "oh mama, you haven't started to lose your hair yet." As I was saying that, my brain was screaming, "THIN, THIN, THIN." You could feel the thinning. And then she told me it started to come out last night and to prove it, pulled out about 10-15 strands. And what did I do? I said "EEWWWW." Nice. What can I say? It was a knee-jerk reaction! 

I also wanted to give an update on the caregiver group from last night. It was awesome. Once again, I was surrounded by people who are in my shoes....and some who are worse off. The only thing that kinda creeped me out was the first lady who spoke. Her husband passed away a week ago. I wasn't expecting that. She talked of his final days and then his funeral. When she was done, our group leader explained that when a caregiver has someone who passes, they are invited to a final "goodbye" with our group and then they move to the grief support group.

Her story jarred me. Why should it have though? Most of us have loved ones who are terminal. I guess we can't all live in the caregiver bubble our whole lives, can we? It was a sobering moment, but the group wrapped our hearts around her and lifted her up as best we could.

That's about it for today. Time to get mentally prepared for tomorrow's oncology appt. at 9:30. I am going to see mom's chest again. I pray that her lesions have healed a little. Please pray with me.

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